


'Cause I Work Myself to Death

by talkfastlive



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Ashton isn't even mentioned, Crying, Cuddling, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Michael Clifford/Calum Hood, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so bad at endings, If You Squint - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad Calum Hood, Snapping, The title is from a Waterparks song, light fluff, malum, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 02:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20184898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkfastlive/pseuds/talkfastlive
Summary: Michael is overworked and over stressed,  so the first thing he does is snap at Calum.





	'Cause I Work Myself to Death

It had been a long, hard day for all of them. With the album coming out in less than a week, people were frantic to make sure everything went together correctly. This time was the most stressful for Michael, since he was the lead, the man with a plan. His nights were long, sometimes he didn’t come to bed till around 5am. Calum knew it wasn’t healthy. 

Now, two days before the album release, Calum was having a hard time falling asleep himself. His anxiety was getting the best of him, and he had no one to turn to in this moment. Michael was a room away, talking loudly with the manager from their music label. His voice already carried but it was worse now. With shaky, nimble hands, the brunette pulled the blankets up and over his head once again, trying to calm himself down. 

It was no use. Michael was still talking loudly, he was almost yelling. After suffering for another five minutes, Calum actually got out of bed. His legs felt like jelly as he stood up, but he ignored it as he traveled to the office.

“No - ugh - Alright, is everything up and ready? I want this to be perfect,” Michael’s back was facing the door so when Calum walked it, there was no way he could've seen him, or heard him.

Softly, Calum knocked on the door frame, praying he wasn’t busting into conversation or ruining something. Michael turned around, not having the most pleased look on his face, but it instantly went a bit happier when he saw how sleepy Calum looked. 

“M- Mikey, am I ruining something?” He asked quickly, wanting to make sure he wasn’t.

“No, of course not, is everything alright?” His tone was bitter, the brunette couldn’t tell if it was directed towards him.

Calum visibly winced as he kept his gaze to the floor in front of him, “N- no, I- I’m alright, n -nevermind,” He whispered, voice shaking along with his hands. 

Michael nodded, going back to the phone call and ignoring that Calum looked a bit shaken up. It’s not like he was doing it on purpose, but it still hurt. Quietly, Calum trudged back to their bedroom and curled up into the bed. He needed Michael, oh so badly right now.

More time passed and soon the phone call ended. Good. Michael let out a long, loud sigh as he sat down in his office chair. The wheels scraped against the hardwood floor, again, Calum winced at the harsh sound. Slowly, the younger boy trudged out of bed again, being quiet as he entered the office once again. 

The shuffling of his blanket on the floor must’ve been heard by Michael because when he peeked into the door, he was already getting looked at. Michael’s face didn’t look all sweet and kind. It looked like he had been to hell and back.

“M- Mikey, can you c- come to bed?” 

“No, Calum, I can’t,” Michael sighed, his voice held more edge, it was almost snappish.

“W- why? Please, it’s l- late.” His hands were shaking even more now and his chest was beginning to tighten. Tears were also starting to pool up in the corners. 

“No, Calum. I’m busy. Now please, leave me alone.” He snapped, eyes narrowing. 

The brunette nodded quickly, his chest felt even tighter. Briskly, he walked out of the room. There was nobody now. No one to help him, no one to talk him through this. The bed seemed even more lonely and cold. Shadows cast on the walls, that was the cherry on top.

With nimble fingers, Calum picked up his phone. Luke was his only hope at this point. Michael, his own boyfriend, had snapped at him and didn’t apologies. He was quick to type a sloppy text to the singer. It was mildly concerning. As soon as Luke had got the text, he called Calum. 

“Calum, are you alright? I’m with Sierra right now. Is everything okay?” He was quick to ask if everything was already, mostly after dealing with Calum and Michael for a few years now.

A muffled gasp of air was heard from the other side of the phone. The gasp was soon followed by another muffled noise, Luke could make it out to be a ‘no’.

“You need to breath, okay? Can you do that for me? Don’t let whatever Michael did, or say put you down. I’m going to end the call but I will call you back. Alright?”

Calum nodded, breathing in for five, then letting out for five, “A- al- alright.” 

With that the call dropped and Luke immediately called Michael. He was beyond pissed. How could someone be that rude and ignore their significant other in a time like this? Calum was in clear distress. Was Michael just too blind to see it?

“Michael Gordon Clifford, what is your _fucking_ problem?” Luke’s usually happy and light voice was laced with angry, dripping with hurt.

“Luke! I don't have time! What did I do!?” Michael asked. Anyone could tell that he was tired and stressed just by hearing his voice. He was so snappy that it definitely wasn’t good for him to talk to anyone.

“If you didn’t know, your boyfriend called me, crying. You, Mr.I go to bed at 5am every night, you need to go check on him. I swear to god, if you even yell at him again, I will punch you next time I see you.” His voice was threatening and quick, it honestly intimidated Michael.

“Calum, crying? I just saw him a moment ago. What do you mean he’s crying? Why did he call you?” Michael was confused. He had just seen him ten minutes ago, and his voice was shaky, but it always was.

“I’ll let him explain, go see him. Now.” And with that, the phone call dropped and Michael was practically sprinting out of the office and down the hall to see Calum.

Through the door, he could hear whimpering and soft sobbing. Shit. With a slow motion, Michael opened the door, letting light from the hallway flood the bedroom. Calum couldn’t see the light, nor hear the other’s soft whispering. The blanket pulled over his body was cutting off his view to the outside. 

“Calum, babe, are you alright?” He asked, keeping his space from the bed and himself.

Another whimper was released. This concerned Michael greatly. Carefully, he put his hand down on the bed, making it dip. That action made Calum flinch, making another sob rip through his body. Quickly, he retracted his hand, stepping away from the bed.

“Calum, listen to me, you need to breath. Alright? In five, out five.”

Only part of his sentence was heard, and Calum tried so hard to focus on what was happening instead of thinking about the negative thoughts. It was mostly flashbacks and overall negative thoughts. _Michael yelled at you, he doesn’t care. He’s just using you. You’re worthless._

“M- Mi- Mic- Mich- Michael,” Calum sounded so, so broken. His usual stutter was much worse, it was as if he had been crying for the last hour. 

“Hey, hey, it’s just me. You need to breath, okay?” Michael spoke so softly, it almost seemed fake. Carefully, he sat on the very edge of the bed. This time Calum didn’t flinch away from it.

“P- ple- please,” His voice cracked, more sobs tearing through his already weak body. 

Michael was in a bad situation. He had yelled at his boyfriend who was going through a rough time already. The room seemed so heavy as he tried to guide Calum through the panic attack. After multiple breathing exercises and comforting words, the brunette was done with the attack, but he was still shaken up to a degree that not even his boyfriend could fix. 

“Are you better now?” That was the first thing Michael asked after Calum has calmed down enough to talk properly. 

A simple nod is all he gets back. That was understandable. A gruesome silence fell upon the room once again, this time is wasn’t tense but it was uncomfortable for the both of them. Calum was upset that Michael had yelled at him, that was a given. The blonde had no clue what to do, though, which is when they hit this brick wall. Panic attacks were becoming a lot more common as it came closer to the release day but Michael was too caught up in his own head to notice his boyfriends distress. 

Michael wasn’t even the lead singer, Luke was, but he was a lot better at talking with management and being direct which put him in the position to deal with everything under the sun when Luke wasn’t able to. He sighed and buried his face in his hands, sitting on the edge of the bed. He was an absolute idiot. A buffoon.

“I’m sorry,” He finally whispered to break the silence that was becoming way to overwhelming for himself, “And I know that you don’t accept apologies so easily… I get it. I’m stressed, and I shouldn’t take all my anger out on you like that. It’s not okay. Even Luke called me to tell me that I had fucked up.”

Calum sniffled as he rubbed at his eyes, listening to whatever his boyfriend had to say to him. He couldn’t help but feel guilty for bothering him at night because all he wanted to do was sleep but Michael actually had things to do. It was embarrassing that he was grown and couldn’t sleep alone but there was nothing that he could do to help it.

Without even speaking, the younger boy leaned over and tugged at the fabric of his boyfriends shirt, beckoning him to come to bed so they could just cuddle for the rest of the night. He wanted sleep to wrap him up and take him out already, it would be a lot easier to do if Michael was willing to lay down with him. The blonde was quick to pull himself into bed and next to Calum. Cuddles always seemed to happen after attacks like the one he just had, so maybe they could restart tomorrow. 

“Calum-”

He was quickly cut off by his boy, “Shh… Please, lets just sleep.”

Finally Calum was able to close his eyes and feel Michael’s comforting arms around him. Despite still being in jeans, the blonde wasn’t going to ruin this by getting out of bed to change. Even though he hated sleeping in jeans, he would suffer just to make things better for the two of them. Once getting comfortable in the sheets, the window cracked, and the fan whirring, the brunette passed out. Sleeping was always a lot easier after crying. His body was weak and drained of everything that was once keeping him up.

Michael hated to see him so anxious and wished he could warm his bones to pull it out. There wasn’t a way to cure him though and he had to understand that. It was hard to come to terms with, especially in these times. Carefully, he brushed the hair out of Calum’s face and pressed a kiss to the back of his head.

“I love you baby, goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this one! It's not edited and I'm still trying to get back into writing... So, let's be patient! Feedback is welcome!!!
> 
> Tumblr: beachgoonsca


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